The Oakland Police Department has decided to use Raider jerseys as the new uniform of city jail inmates. Due to budget cutbacks and accessibility of the jersey's, starting on July 1 all inmates in the Oakland city jail system will wear Raiders jerseys as their standard uniform.

"Most inmates who enter the custody of the Oakland city jail system are already wearing Raider jerseys, so it just seemed logical to make this the uniform of our corrections department," spoke officer Jacob Anderson of the Oakland Police Department.




The O.P.D estimates that of the 1,500 arrests they make every week, at least 75% of those apprehended are wearing Raiders jerseys. That number rises during football season, when 200 arrests are made at every Raider home game.

"With the budget stretched thin, and the Governor taking away any extra jail funding, we had no other choice but to use Raider jerseys as the uniform of our city jail inmates" spoke officer Anderson. "This is the logical choice for financial and practical reasons, especially since most arrested in Oakland are already wearing Raiders jerseys."

Most criminals are estatic about the news, especially since they no longer have to wear the orange jumpsuits of the past. "This is like the best thing to ever happen to me man," spoke Dan Guerrero of Oakland. "Now I can like wear my Tim Brown jersey around the house, at the game, and then in jail after I get arrested!"


***This article is a satire